the old new secret society that nobody can find out about

Friday, October 3rd

we forgot to add that monkeys are not rihnos (RINHOS, RIHNO, RINO RYNOSE, RYENOSE, RINOSE, RINOOS, JELLYFISH) HOW DO YOU SPELL RIHNOS????? Rhinos

the old new secret society that nobody can ever find out about

I said that could think of a better word than 'wise', not that I would share it - that would be unwise, as well as crude!

Thursday, October 2nd

We can't talk for long but we have one quick thing to say. Every few days we meet a wise OLD man. This is what he always says: "Children have listening skills of squirrells, attention spans of fleas and their excuses are like armpits, if you don't wash 'em they'll get stinky." He also says: "BROOKS... don't get me started or I may hurt your feelings..." Ooh spooky! We just love his advice. Don't you? 
Signed,
the old new secret society that nobody can ever find out about

I can think of a better word than 'wise' to describe these poisonous opinions.

P.S
save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippossave the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippossave the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippossave the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippossave the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos save the hippos 
SAVE THE HIPPOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, September 26th

BACK TO THE TOPIC OF OUR BOO-BOOS. ow! OW OW OW ow ow. TAHDA! achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo  ACHOO ACHOO ACHOO achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo  ACHOO ACHOO ACHOO achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo achoo! Sorry we haven't written in a year, but we were imprisioned in the basement the of the obviously evil three fingered toads. STUPID TOADS!!!!!!!!!!! We defeated them be handing them dust-bunny bisciuts. LOL. OMG. TTYL. IDK. YO YO YO. Today we went swimming a silver coral reef. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL! POLK A DOT SOUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, don't you get so aggravated when your bed is too lumpy? We intterviewed a bed yesterday and here's what he had to say on the topic (IN AN ENGLISH ACCENT): "Us beds just do not care and NEVA EVA will! What now LOSERS????"
We left out the swears..... In conclusion, lumpy beds just do not fall in the category of comfortable sleepment. Cushy speping bags on the other hand...
Anyway, COCKA DOODLEY DO DA DISCO!
Have ou ever stuffed a stapeler up your left nostril? We highly reccomend it. (Not responsible for the deaths of the losers who will undoubtedly try this.) Tomorrow we suggest that you dorks take a nice hot air balloon ride and then throw yourself of the side. THAT"LL SHOW THE HOT AIR BALLOON INVENTOR!! this is not safe. WE INTURRUPT THIS POINTLESS BLOG TO WARN YOU OF THE STAPLER MAN WHO'S COMING UP BEHIND YOU RIGHT NOW. THATS RIGHT STOP READING! WE SAID "STOP THIS MADNESS RIGHT THIS INSTANT YOUNG 5TH GRADER" 
signed,
the so-called new (which is actually kind of old-ish now) secret society that nobody can ever find out about. 

PEACE OUT YO!

Thursday, April 10th

Hello.
We are the NEW secert society that nobody can find out about. ANGEL HAIR, WHY, WE LOVE SPAGHETTI. Hey Harry Potter what's it like to be an orphan? Who was raised under the stairs yet magicially you started morphin' me into, a dork whose read all about you. And hogwarts too. Number Nine, Number Nine Number Nine. WE like Purple Dragons. Mouse Click fifty two. Have you ever eaten sand? Doesn't feel all like tingly? Coolio

Tuesday, April 8th

Hi.
We are the new secret society that nobody can find out about.

Have you ever felt the temptation to shred your index finger in a pencil sharpener?  Crush it to smithereens? We recommend it! CHOCOLATE MILK TASTESES LIKE VANILLA! That reminds us of the ... HI! We have freedom in this country along with the right to say ... HI! Gatorade! Oh so good Gatorade! That reminds is of the horrible, terrible, no-good, awfully bad yet intriguing school lunches. Before you ask, these are all true stories. The tomatoe sauce on the pizza is really ground moldy tomatoe. Tom, a toe! Oh, and the cheese is recycled! EW! And their sandwitches are really ... humans! Yes, you're a cannibal.
Why do lemons stand still? It’s so confusing. Stupid lemons! Standing still is for limes!
Never chew your guts. We mean, like, when have you ever cleaned them, like?

POLK-A-DOTTED TOUNGES!

Have you ever felt the urge to yell out randomly? Some thing that makes absolutely no sense? Something odd, strange or even gross? Like, in a middle of an explanation? If you reply “Yes,” then you’re probably a jerk. We mean, like, we never have, like!

LET’S ALL JUMP ON THE DINOSAURS RIB CAGE!

Lions and tigers and bears! Oh, my! Can’t a lope eat cantaloupe? Ha, ha! Melt your nose crayons! CRAYOLA, CRAYOLA, CRAYOLA, CRAYOLA … CRAYOLA! That car is green as is the next to and the following. What is wrong with the world? Nobody enjoys yellow jeeps! Elmo is in jail. He murdered his goldfish, Dorothy!

Her coat is brick, brick, brick, poke it with a … stick, stick, stick or maybe … lick, lick, lick all dem … bricks, bricks, BRICKS! It’s time to rime, yo! And here we go! Stumpy, stumpy our name is stumpy please don’t be grumpy just ‘cause we’re lumpy!

YOU JUST GOT THE WATER ALL WET! WE CAN ... BOB!

We’re learning French in Spanish! Bonjour! Um, how do you say bye in French? Er … um … BYE-BYE!

Why are you still reading? WE SAID BYE-BYE!

NSSTNFOA

(New secret society that nobody can find out about)
 

Saturday, March 29th

Hi.

We are the new society that nobody can find out about.
Once again, we wrote a short and horrible entry. We were kinda busy yesterday. I SAID BUSY! Wanna know why? Well, we're not tellin' ya'll! JUST WANTED TO GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY!
We might write back again later today,
new secert society nobody can find out about

Friday, March 28th

Hi.

We are the new society that nobody can find out about. Our last entry's end was stupid, idiotic and horrible. But we had a reason ... Voldemort attacked! Have you noticed how his nose is like smeared into his face? 'Cause it is. EW! Thomas Jefferson has panda PJs! He lied! He claimed they were slim jim pajamas! BRACES! We're like all  getting them Tuesday. Ouch! MREOW! Have you ever hated your name? WELL TOO BAD SUCKER. Sit and listen! WE SNIFFED BLUE BIRDS YESTERDAY! On our nature walk! Hooray! These are the reason for the blood shed on our guitar. The reason that I'm dead is becuase you stabbed me hard.
Write back later today,
We will,
new secret society nobody can find out about.
 

Thursday, March 27th

Hi.
We are the new society that nobody can find out about. We will know teach you how to yodel.
YODELLEIHEHO!
All done! Have you ever had french bread or wondered why it's so long? Well, we do too. If you find out or already know, please, PLEASE tell us.
YEEEEEEEEERHEA!
Ever wondered what to do with your tomatoe sauce? RUB IT ON YOUR ELBOW! Then you get a greasy elbow!  MAD COMPUTERS HATE CHILDREN! Sorry, spazz attack. Gatorade's addicting! Smart tip: Never ask a random kid what their favorite banana color is. Trust us...you get some punch. That reminds us, FRUIT PUNCH! Have you ever seen an everyday object? If you have, then you'll be able to brag that you've seen magic. We will know list magical items: CANS OF SODA, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN'S HAIR, SNAKE BLOOD, FLYS MADE OF BUTTER AND NIJA STARS. If you haven't seen any of those items, you're probably a loser. Hear that? LOSER! For all you little kiddies out there, we're gonna diss
Santa Claus! He's a thief! A rotten cookie theif!
He happens to be on the FBI's Most Wanted! So, ha! Now for a new section: All About Zippers! Zippers are fun, ya know? But they're dangerous. If you are not careful, you can break your zipper! You also might get your nose caught in it! Now it's time for ... fun with pork! PORK IS TOTALLY FUN! LOL! Have you ever seen a snowglobe? Have you ever seen a penguin in a snowglobe? Do they look weird, or what? Ugly, right. THE SKY IS EXTINCT! TRUE FACT! Sorry that blue Gatorade is powerful! THE MUNCH, MUNCH BUNCH! HA HA HA!
Signed,
The new secret society that nobody can find out about.
 

Wednesday, March 26th

Hi.
We are the new secret society that nobody can find out about. WE LIKE BANANAS. We took a survey with first graders about their favorite banana color. And we found that the average first grader likes yellow bananas over green ones. WHO LIKES GREEN BANANAS? FENCES SMELL LIKE SOUR MILK! THEY TASTE LIKE THEM TOO! (dont ask!) Today at recess it hailed gobs of lime jell-O! Same with chocolate pudding! 56 homes exploded in bursts of "goo"  SHAKESPEARES REAL NAME IS BOB! Guppies need Gatorade too! America is overrated. It doesnt deserve an "Idol" show... Canada does!Thats why we're starting a new TV show Canadian Idol! Huzzah! Hooray! FUNK 70! Rocks are fun to roll! Thats why we're starting a new "rock rolling" section on Canadian Idol. There are tons of rock rolling races! SPIDER MONKEYS OWN + ROLL THE ROCKS! Have you ever noticed those hard, red clouds? If you look clser, you'll notice that they're made of bricks. BRICKS! BRICKS! GLORIOUS BRICKS! We have found ourselves looking at a lampost. It seems to be a strange, neon pink/purple color. Now we will "poke" you.
Pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke
pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke
pokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepokepoke.
We have just finished "flicking" you.
PITTER PATTER! PITTER PATTER!
Have you ever wondered why paint-brushes are so delicious? If you have, you're probably an idiot. NO ONE EATS PAINT-BRUSHES! The fan we are currently looking at is white. Thought you'd think it interesting. Today we interviewed a bunch o' 1st graders. We found that most six year olds prefer spongebob to any other TV shows! Webkinz was the leading website! CURSE YOU WEBKINZ! TRASHING THE INNOCENT MINDS OF THE LITTLE KIDDIES! Purple grapes are better than green grapes and blue mexican jumping beans are better than orange ones! Though nobody really knows what they are! EWWW! There are rotting carrots in our ears! We'll get CARROT CONTAMINATION!  Excuse us while we die.
Signed,
The new secret society that nobody can find out about.
 

Tuesday, March 25th